Earlier this year I found out I was conceived through a sperm donor. While I asked many questions and researched obsessively, the only thing I was able to imagine was this anonymous man, my biological father, masturbating in a doctor’s office selling his sperm to my parents. I began reading about the experience of “donating” sperm and the way the fertility industry works.
Because my conception story was kept from me my whole life, I find it liberating to create unapologetically large plushy objects that expose every part of the process, even down to how much my parents paid for me.
Within the gallery space, I am recreating the waiting room and sperm donation room my biological father used. Large scale soft sculptures and crocheted porn mixed with untouched mass-produced items exist hand in hand within the sperm covered space depicting the duality of sterile and erotic that the space teeters on. This is my self-generated “memory” of my biological dad.
I use colorful and tactile textiles and fabrics as a vehicle to make my work more approachable, while the topics behind the works are rarely discussed. The waiting room acts as a literal period of time where I am waiting for my questions to be answered. As I wait to find out about my own identity, all I have are vague clues on this lonely journey.
Image: 217 (Detail). Insulation foam, found photograph and Playboy magazines / Variable dimensions